Here is a post I wrote … LONG time ago. I am publishing it now on my blog. It talks about the power in our own emotions and feelings. I used to have a tough time showing vulnerability to the important people in my life. It is hard to share the deep hard stuff.. when no one else seems to care or no one talks about them. So I have chosen to BE the conversation starter in areas in our life we never get the chance to talk about…. SO enjoy this post back from March of 2009.
In dedication to all the women out there. There is power in our emotions ladies. We cannot expect the men in our lives to understand. IF we take the time to truly embrace our emotions, learn from them, understand them, and truly feel them — authentically. We then begin to create that same level of understanding in the men in our life. It is truly up to us to create sustainable and long-lasting relationships in our lives. If you choose RESPONSIBILITY over our emotions… read this post.
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“Feelings … Emotions! At times I do not like them and at other times i cherish them. The good ones I express.. and the bad ones i hide from. In fact, that’s what we learn in our culture… Stay positive and express only the good stuff. If you feel like shiet or bad suck it up and move on. “Get over it”….
Not our faults that we live in a “fake” pretending culture. We pretend we feel good or okay when in fact we may not.
Also we sometimes forget to share how we feel about how others in our lives make us feel TO THEM. We keep how special someone is to us… or what they mean to us a secret. in our own hearts. opportunities slip over and over again to express how important friends and family are too us. I know I have a VERY tough time expressing my feelings. I can “talk” about my feelings… but sharing my feelings about others TO THEM… noooo nooo nooo cannot do that. I cannot tell someone how i feel about them… what if i get rejected? Shut down? Shot down? or they just don’t understand. So i played it safe and never expressed how others meant to me.
I notice now how common this way of living is. Sometimes its too late to share with that person how that person made me feel, think, or may even have affected my life in a certain way… sometimes it ends up being to late because death takes them away.
Feelings are special! And they ARE IMPORTANT… far more important than anything because they guide us. They show us when we are on the correct path and when we headed in the wrong direction. Feelings show me how others affect me and how i feel about them. Being honest with my feelings is risky.
Recently, I started becoming honest with how others make me feel and i have started expressing that to THAT person.. not someone else. In fact, telling people how inspirational or important they are to me… makes them feel special! And they are. I have experienced the value this creates in that relationship… It adds depth and passion. Also it builds trust. When I am honest enough to tell someone how i really feel (even if it’s not good things)… then that person knows I will be honest with them and that is what builds trust.
People can detect when things are not genuine… if I say something that is not true to how i really feel… people will feel it and it will come across fake.
Those who read this, JUST BE HONEST with how you feel at all times with all people. There is always a way to say something negative in a positive way. In fact, it will bring you closer to that person. Everyone wants to feel loved. Being honest about your feelings shows others u love them enough to be real.
Feelings are a blessing… in fact it is the one thing WE ALL HAVE IN COMMON. Use this to connect with everyone instead of building barriers between us. They are important.. if we ignore them, it will lead to misery, unhappiness, and leave us with a hole in our hearts.
Don’t let society tell us how to live. Especially men. I feel so much for our men sometimes… because they have it the hardest. It is such a taboo for men to not talk about how they feel. We rob our men of their souls when we shut down their emotions. At least women have it easy since we are expected to talk about feelings. Men make the choice for yourself to express yourself. Feelings come with life and they come with being human. Even animals have feelings and they express themselves. Do not let a culture or others tell you how to live your life. if you really want to be happy and gain that passion and excitement in life. Feelings are a big part of them…
In fact it is the roots of passion and excitement because they too are feelings. In order to feel the GOOOD Stufff we HAVE To face the bad stuff. It’s the only way to feel. If we choose to not feel at all (which some of us become really good at) we rob ourselves with truly living AND FEELING the essence of life.
Allow yourself to feel… it is okay to feel all our emotions.. Anger, sadness, hurt, regret, happiness, joy, love, devotion, etc. Then allow yourself to express yourself the way that makes you YOU.”
Love
~Kaprese~
sukikang 