Our first major drop begins with REGRET. I chose to begin with this emotion because it fits nicely into the leap from anxiety to regret. Those who are keeping up with my blogs, anxiety was the last major post before I started on this new journey -> the Roller Coaster of emotions. Anxiety and regret are closely tied together.Webster defines Regret as: a : to mourn the loss or death of b : to miss very much c : to be very sorry for
Most of the time anxiety is a symptom or a sign of something that is going on deeper. Regret may be one of those answers that surface when we go deeper within ourselves. We may be regretting a decision that was made. Maybe it was something we did not get to see or do. It may involve something we wished we did, but now it is too late. This is why I believe regret is tied to anxiety.
From my previous post on anxiety, I discussed how healthy versions of anxiety are needed to grow within ourselves. We usually experience healthy doses of anxiety when we are about to experience something new or step outside of comfort zone. Many come face to face with that wall called fear (anxiety). Some choose to go through that wall and experience something new in order to grow. Others retreat. It is that retreat that can lead to regret. We may look back and think “what would have happened if I…?” One way regret surfaces is through allowing our fear to control our choices.
The reason I say that regret is the one emotion that evolves is because what we may regret today, we may not regret tomorrow. From today and tomorrow our thought processes can evolve. We can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves. New knowledge can develop. New lessons. New information that allows us to LEARN from that poor choice earlier.
I believe there is no right or wrong choices because we choose the best choices for us at the time we chose them. Later we may discover if it was a good choice or a poor one, but that does not make it right or wrong. At the time the choice was made it was a good one. With new information comes the opportunity to make new choices. So as we learn from our choices, the emotion of regret evolves to acceptance.
I can honestly look back at my life and say I have no regrets. I have made many poor choices in the past, but today, none of them have a negative hold on my life. Well, I do still struggle with a few beliefs that hold me down, but overall, I deeply believe –> every choice in the past has led me to where I am today. Every choice shaped me into who I am today.
The simplest form of regret can occur on a day-to-day basis. Just by small decisions we make moment to moment. For example, deciding between taking the 5 or the 15 freeway can be the crossroads moment to traffic or no traffic. If I choose one and hit traffic… instant regret –> “F*** should have taken the 15”
Regret can get deeper as the choices become highly invested in the direction our life goes. Choice of loosing weight. We can go from one year of obesity, to two, to five, to ten, to a lifetime. With each year the depth of regret gets stronger. Each moment of choice to change eating habits becomes a crossroads moment in which direction we take our life — obesity or healthy!
My great current example of this was also in my anxiety post. Choosing to go to Kenya was big decision. Many strong repercussions were going to come out of this — good and bad. Yet, I knew if I allowed myself to miss this great opportunity, I would not feel very good after wards. I knew it would be the breeding ground for regret to brew because everything inside of me was telling me I NEEDED to do this. At that point, it was up to me to listen or ignore. I chose to listen!
This can all get really complicated really fast when we continuously choose to ignore what our soul or body is trying to communicate to us with our feelings and emotions. What may have pissed us off have stemmed from a poor choice that was made that led to regret that caused someone to get frustrated easily when their buttons were pushed, which then led to a fight between this person and another. One may think whatever the fight was about was the reason the person was frustrated, but both people became ignorant to the fact that what was REALLY going on had nothing to do with the fight in that moment, but a poor decision that was made hours, days, weeks, or even years ago. Our choices have a hold on us rather we admit that or not.
Regret surfaces when we are face to face with a crossroads moment. What we choose in that moment will be the best decision we can make based on the information we have at that point in our lives. Unless we are living in insanity (doing the same things over and over, but expecting different results), the choices are very appropriate for where we are in life. However, if we discover later as we move down that path, it was not the best of both options, we then must LEARN. Until we learn, regret will always be the forefront of that emotion. Once we learn what piece of information was missing that led to the incorrect choice of path then acceptance allows us freedom from regret because we now trust ourselves to make a better decision later when faced with the same choice again.
Are we seeking knowledge in our lives?! Do we pay attention to the choice we make?! How those choices affect our lives?!
I believe life is a puzzle that slowly comes together as we find the missing pieces by moving through our life. In order to find the pieces, we must be aware to them as they cross our path.
And My Journey Continues ….
Sukhpreet Kaprese Kang
sukikang 